Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Love at first sight...

Love at first sight. Controvertible indeed is its existence. I, for one, am a firm believer in it. Why? Because as of right now, I am but a helpless victim of it. The word 'Love' may often impress an overstated importance, especially suspect in my case. But I believe words such as, 'infatuation', 'lust', or 'attraction' are too feeble in meaning to describe how I feel. Whatever it is I'm feeling, I am feeling it so immensely my cognitive faculty is handicapped. Logical becomes illogical. The boundaries between sky and ground blur. I cannot think straight.

I thought, following each rejection and fumble-up, that I would finally get over this mushy nonsensical feeling I am experiencing. Oh god how wrong was I. Even as I am writing this now, nothing has changed. I am still crazy about you, as I was the night I met you. I am not gonna deny, the first time I met you I was checking you out(lol) but as I began talking to you, I just realised how amazing you are. Perhaps you do not remember a single word you said to me--probably because I was not an engaging a conversationalist as I ought to have been-- but I remember almost all of it. How any of that made me think you are beautiful, I do not know. I want to know. I truly do. But alas, it just wasn't meant to be. I fumbled up one too many times. Forget fucking up my first impression. I fucked up the first ten impressions.

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